week of "horror": day one

yes, every day for the next week (plus one, because i suppose i'll make an actual post on actual halloween day) i am going to postg about a horror movie. or in some cases, a "horror" movie (y'know, the ones that are supposed to be scary, but are kind of ridiculous...)

which is how i start. with the ridiculous:
Wes Craven's first film, "the last house on the left."

Now, looking at the cover (this is the Canadian edition, apparently, though the US edition of the DVD has the same image) gives you a sort of "psycho/amityville horror/house" vibe. ooooh. scarrrrry!

and incredibly misleading...

basically, the movie is a cheesy, and extremely exploitative "horror" version of Bergman's "The Virgin Spring."

yes, that's right. wes craven adapted bergman into a horror film.



granted, this was the early 70's. the exorcist had just scared the bejeezus out of everyone, so horror was a nice commodty. and craven, who would go on to create the nightmare on elm street series - probably the one thing with his name on it really worth watching, "new nightmare aside" - was just giving the people what they wanted. sort of.

the plot is simple enough. it's mari's birthday. she is going to a concert with her rebellious friend phyllis (to see a band called bloodlust). parents give her a nice necklace. they go to the city, try to score some pot, meet some escaped criminals who proceed to rape phyllis. the next morning, they throw the girls in their trunk and head out of town, with mari's worried parents at home, calling the cops.

criminal's car breaks down right in front of mari's house (ooooh. coincidence.) and they criminals lead the girls through the woods, where a series of exploitative torture happens, including a gratuitous lesbian sex scene:
which really adds nothing to the horror. i mean, it's not even to the quality of russ meyer standards. granted, they could easily remake this movie today as one of those ridiculously annoying "torture porn" style horror movies. but it's really just... ech.

so finally they end up killing the girls (phyills when she tries to escape and mari, after they rape her again, gets shot while swimming/escaping in the nearby lake). the killers "clean themselves up" and then go to...


mari's parents house. where they are welcomed, though the parents are obviously suspicious of them. then, mom sees mari's necklace and the killers' dirty/bloody clothes, which oddly prompts them to run down to the lake where they find mari (who they say is already dead, but oddly is moving and gasping for breath - apparently due to a redubbing of dialogue). they then decide to take revenge....

first the husband sets a bunch of home alone style traps (electric wiring on the doorknobs, shaving cream on the floor to make it slippery, etc). mom then seduces one of the killers - the one who stabbed phyllis - who takes him down to the river where she bites off his penis, apparently killing him - again, this mostly made me think of russ meyer. granted, you don't see anything particularly sexual but... then dad, who is a doctor, comes after the other three more diectly, with a shotgun.

etc. etc. ultimately, the bumbling cops show up just as the good doctor is shoving the business end of a chainsaw into the face of the "leader" of the killers (who has just forced his stepson to blow his own brains out). they tell him to stop but, well, too late. leaving them to contemplate what they have just done....

(for a better plot description, go to the wikipedia entry)

right.

so aside from the crappy cinemtography - stylistically it seems almost like it was done like texas chainsaw massacre would eventually be done - and the incredibly cheesy/sexploitation vibe (film opens up with mari in the shower). the biggest problem with the movie is the tone, which is largely set by the music. apparently, it was an intentional counterpoint to the horrors on the screen or whatever, but any movie where the killers have a theme song that plays while they are driving (called "baddies theme" - and apparently performed by one of the stars of the film) is just... wrong. then there are crappy synthesizer sounds throughout the killing scenes - sort of like music Psycho as performed by tangerine dream.

ug. thankfully, craven would go on to better things. most of the stars of the movie went on to do nothing, or further their careers through more exploitative crap (the girl who played innocent mary, went on to such fine films as "legacy of satan" and "massage parlor hookers"; the actor who played the main killer was in a movie called "nutcracker: an american nightmare")

so was the movie scary? no. there is no real suspense in the movie, as every scene of "horror" is pretty much telegraphed to the audience long before it happens. even the rape scenes lack any "shock" value - which craven seems to be confusing with horror, much like a lot of supposed horror movie directors are doing these days... (yes, eli roth, whoever directed the saw movies, etc, i'm looking right at you guys...)

tomorrow... well... i don't know yet...